This year has been one heck of a Rollercoaster ride. There have been so many ups and downs. I guess that is called life? It is full of highs and lows. I always say, “It is in the low moments when we find out what we’re really made of.”
Sometimes being strong and going through can be too much. We find ourselves drowning, and not knowing when or how to ask for help. I’ve been there. Someday’s I’m still there. The difference, I’ve learned how to let go and let God.
In my early twenties when life seemed too overwhelming and getting out of bed was like trying to lift something that weighed over five hundred pounds (Impossible) I didn’t want to live.
Yet, I had no choice. I had three kids who depended on me. One day the weight of the world and my burdens became more than I wanted to bare.
I could no longer force myself to do the impossible. I refused to get dress, put on a half smile and go through the day not knowing how or when. One evening in March, (I can’t and don’t want to remember the date) I decided to curse God, take pills, drink whiskey and check out. I was twenty-six at the time.
Prayerfully, God wrapped His loving arms around me. I woke the next morning with birds singing, the sunshining, and me saying, “Damn, I can’t even do this right.”
It was at that moment…I realized God had a plan for me. I didn’t know what or why? I only knew I had and have to constantly seek him to find out.
Twenty year’s later, there are still times when I have dark days. There are times when life sucks! There are moments when I say, “No more!” It is then when I reach out to my Father first, and then to those who love me.
I remind myself I’m loved. More so, I love me. I openly share I need help. I can”t do it alone. I say NO to anyone and anything that brings conflict or confusion in my life. I tell everyone I’m not perfect. I don’t have a perfect life. I do however, serve a perfect God.
I’m telling this part of my journey as recently, I’ve seen the hurt and pain of someone I know after losing a love one to depression and mental illness. I know I didn’t go through my own battle to be silent.
The Holiday’s can be a fun time, but it is also the time when so many feel the pressure of life. We miss those we’ve lost. We feel financial pressure. We reflect on the year; what we did and didn’t do.
I want any woman or man to know we are all human. We all hurt. Most of us have had moments when we felt like throwing in the towel. Don’t! I’m a living witness; if you can simply connect with God, give it all to Him, in time things change.
The key is to openly share with those close. Learn to look yourself in the mirror and see the beautiful person God created. If we can do this, we can overcome the trials, tribulations and learn to Soar!